“Godincidences” – Staircase of hope ...

I don’t believe in coincidence or fate. My God is too big and too mighty for anything to interfere with His plans for my life. Ever since I read the billboard I wrote about here, God has been nudging me in little ways. Being my stubborn self and totally overwhelmed by my current circumstances, I have not paid any heed to His gentle prodding. Fortunately He is faithful and, just like any good parent, has just spoken louder and louder in order to be heard. Allow me share the amazing “Godincidences” I have experienced recently –

When I told Renier’s story I mentioned that he started painting after his heart transplant. Right at the start of our visit to their house, both Kallie and I noticed one of his paintings. It was partially hidden in a corner of the lounge. Renier sells his paintings and uses their home as an informal gallery, just hanging any new paintings wherever there is a nail available until such time as it is sold. The painting really spoke to us and we joking said to Renier that we would love to own it but could not afford it at the moment. He asked whether we were serious and offered to keep it until we could afford it. This morning my dear friend Sam encouraged me with the following quote by Martin Luther King Jr:

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”

Not only is this quote extremely appropriate in our current circumstances, but the painting that I fell in love with is of a wooden staircase. Renier commented that the painting was filled with symbolism but that the interpretation was in the eye of the beholder. How true!

I am trusting God to lead us up this steep staircase, one step at a time, to reach the top where I trust that not only will a new physical heart be waiting for Kallie, but that we will also receive new spiritual hearts as God promises in Ezekiel 36:26.

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart “
Ezekiel 36:26 (New Living Translation):

Tomorrow we will be taking another step closer as Kallie goes in to Milpark Hospital for all the physical tests to determine whether he qualifies to be added to the transplant list. Please join us in praying that all the results will be positive.

On a more happy note ...

I have decided to catch up on my blogging about some more fun things

The boys and I spent two weeks at home during the April holidays but we were by no means bored. Besides being lazy and lounging around in our pj's til late morning we kept ourselves busy with lots of fun activities!!!

These are some of the things we were up to:

We baked pancakes (and got covered in flour...)


We had a chocolate fondue ....

We went shopping for a new Ben 10 wardrobe...

We visited the Irene Dairy farm ...

We had an Easter egg hunt ...

The Loot!!!

We had lunch at the Wimpy ...




followed by trip to the games room ...


I cannot believe the schools are closing again, wish I could also have leave and stay at home to have fun with my boys. Wishful thinking though, but a girl can dream after all!!

The Irene Dairy farm

During the April school holidays I took Jos, Reuben and my stepson Duvan to the Irene Dairy farm. It was a most enjoyable experience. The two older boys loved running around and watching the cows brought in for milking. We had a lovely, relaxing lunch at the outdoor restaurant. Reuben ran around making friends with all the patrons. He managed to make friends at a nearby table. There was the cutest little red haired boy sitting at the table eating spaghetti bolognaise. I just had to take photographs and mail them to his mom later.

I had a ball with my camera. I usually prefer to take photographs of people, especially the kids but somehow the surroundings and following Jeanette's photographic blog religiously, inspired me to be a bit more daring. I managed to move out of my normal comfort zone and even surprised myself when I got home and downloaded the pictures.

Here are a few of my favorites.

The wishing well at the entrance.
Jos and Duvan insisted on depositing money in the water to make a wish.

Fallen tree.

Old farm implement.

(I am a city girl have no idea exactly what this is.)

Old motorbike.

Begged the boys to pose for me but they were too excited about the wishing well.

When the cows come home ....

(for milking off course)

Lonely duck!

A story of courage and hope …

Saturday K and I spent 3 hours chatting to Renier and Lizette van Zyl, Renier is a heart transplant recipient who received a new heart 4 years ago. He has an amazing story.
They were on holiday in Mosambique 8 years ago and he had a heart attack while taking a long solitary walk on the beach. He had no warning symptoms, just felt tired and when he sat down to rest experienced the most excruciating pain in his chest. He said he immediately realised that he was having a heart attack and needed to stay conscious if he wanted to survive. He managed to drag himself back to camp, crawling at times. They then had to rush to cross the border back into South Africa before the border post closed for the night.

Back in South Africa they located a rural hospital with very basic facilities. Fortunately a British lady doctor was doing community service at the hospital and managed to stabilise him with the limited resources available. An emergency flight was sent from Durban. When the flight eventually arrived, landing was impossible as it was already dark and there were no runway lights. They managed to rally all the locals and police vehicles to illuminate the runway. Renier finally reached the hospital in Durban at about 2:30 the next morning. His heart attack occurred at about 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

Due to a lack of oxygen his heart was badly damaged. His cardiologist, who happens to be the same doctor who has treated K up until now, referred him to Dr C at Milpark for a heart transplant. Before actually putting him on the transplant list a new procedure was recommended and tried. This involved surgery during which the heart muscle that died due to a lack of oxygen was cut away ad replaced with synthetic material. This was unsuccessful and Renier was placed on the transplant list.

He waited approximately 13 months for a new heart. During this time he received numerous calls to be on standby as a possible donor was identified. Each time something happened – either the heart was not suitable or consent from the family was withdrawn at the last minute. Organ donation is something I have always believed in but have become extremely passionate about recently. This however warrants a separate post altogether.

It is now 4 years later and Renier is doing well despite some of the side affects of the medicines that a heart transplant recipient has to take for the rest of his life. He is an ex teacher but was boarded and is now on early retirement. After his transplant a friend offered him art classes and he is now producing the most amazing paintings.

Renier and Lizette have also had the privilege to become grandparents 4 months ago despite the fact that he believed he would never see his grandchildren. They are very involved with Dr C’s transplant team and have made themselves available to counsel any heart transplant candidates from Dr C’s programme. They are truly an inspiration!!!

Thank you sooo much Renier and Lizette for your encouragement and willingness to share your story. May you be abundantly blessed !!!

Note: When I asked Renier’s permission on Saturday to blog about his story he was very gracious and immediately agreed. It is my hope that this story will be an inspiration and a source of hope to many people out there.

Hanging in there …

Things have been crazy and again I have skipped posting for a few days. But I am cutting myself some slack. Things will hopefully settle down (see I am realistic and not using the phrase back to normal) and I will be able to get into a routine of posting daily.

We are hanging in there. At times I feel as if I am about to have a total meltdown but up until now I have been able to somehow keep it reasonably together. K has terrible mood swings and will oscillates between optimism and hopefulness and utter despair within minutes. His health is deteriorating daily and it is very frustrating for him to be unable to do even the most basic things like climbing the stairs to our front door. Due to the fact that his heart valve is leaking the heart failure is worse than ever. Even after spending a week in ICU two weeks ago on a diuretic drip and undergoing dialysis during this time the oedema (water retention) is back with a vengeance.

We have managed to jump through just about all the hoops in order to be considered and hopefully qualify to be placed on the heart transplant list. We have met with the transplant coordinator and transplant team psychologist and spent a encouraging 3 hours with Renier and his wife Lizette on Saturday. Renier received a heart transplant 4 years ago. He has an amazing story which I plan to tell in a separate post. The only thing left to do is the physical tests next week Wednesday (1st of July). This involves an angiogram (heart catheter) and a series of blood tests. The results of these will determine whether K qualifies to go on the transplant list or not.

If anything I am learning to take things day by day, even hour by hour or minute by minute when the going gets tough or I am suddenly overwhelmed by a panic attack.

On our way home after visiting Renier on Saturday we passed a big billboard on which the local churches post inspirational messages. The message was a portion of a bible verse namely Ezekiel 36:26:

“A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

This is the prayer of my heart and something I will hold onto tightly in the days to come. Please join me in praying for a new heart ….

From the heart ……

I have not written a blog post in ages. When I finally stopped long enough to think about why I was avoiding posting on my blog I came to the following realisation. I started blogging with the idea to “have a space for ME, a space where I can vent and have my say” as I stated in my first blog post. Subconsciously I decided that this meant only writing about the good, funny and upbeat stuff going on in my life. Yes, you have guessed things haven’t been very upbeat around here recently and thus no blog posts. I have however decided to change that. Given what is happening in my life at present I now more than ever need a place to speak from the heart. So don’t expect any funny upbeat posts for the moment. I am dealing with serious stuff and maybe there is someone out there that can benefit from my sharing what I am going through at the moment.

In a nutshell – my husband of 39 nearly 40 is in end stage heart failure and needs a heart transplant urgently. Wow, I have said it. There is a part of me that just cannot believe that this is actually happening to me. Yes you read right, a TRANSPLANT not a bypass or heart surgery (been there done that), but a real life Chris Barnard style heart transplant!! I am tempted to joke or try and be brave and upbeat about this, but the truth is, I am scared shitless. I wake up in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat, feeling as if I cannot breathe.

For those of you out there who may be as ignorant about this as I was a while ago, transplants are a lot more common today than they were years ago. Heart transplants are also no longer only performed in Cape Town at the Grootte Schuur hospital. The Milpark hospital in Johannesburg runs a very successful programme for the Gauteng area, and heart transplants are also performed in Kwa Zulu Natal. Grootte Schuur remains the only state hospital offering this course of treatment. Yes, a heart transplant is a standard protocol and the only treatment for end stage heart failure.

With all other options exhausted and our hopes in our shoes, a dedicated team of professionals walked in to our lives this past Monday and gave us something to hope for. On Monday afternoon we met Dr C, a cardiologist at Milpark Hospital. He is the physician who assesses potential candidates to determine whether they are suitable for the programme. It was truly an uplifting experience to deal with someone so passionate and positive. He exudes confidence and I instinctively felt that I could trust him. We also met Marlize Frauendorf, the Recipient Co-ordinator for the Gauteng area. Marlize is a qualified nursing sister with the mammoth task of matching donor and recipient hearts and lungs.


On Thursday we spent a couple of hours with Marlize going through the whole transplant process in detail. We also met with the Psychologist that forms part of the transplant team. The next step in our quest to be added to the heart transplant waiting list is the physical workup, consisting of series of blood tests and a right heart catheter procedure scheduled for Wednesday the 1st of July. This initial process is involved and sometimes daunting but what scares me even more is the waiting game once he has been accepted to the programme. There is so much more to our story but as things unfold I will continue to fill in the gaps. It is my hope that this will be a story of hope – a story of new beginnings and a story of a brand new heart…..