Hanging in there …

Things have been crazy and again I have skipped posting for a few days. But I am cutting myself some slack. Things will hopefully settle down (see I am realistic and not using the phrase back to normal) and I will be able to get into a routine of posting daily.

We are hanging in there. At times I feel as if I am about to have a total meltdown but up until now I have been able to somehow keep it reasonably together. K has terrible mood swings and will oscillates between optimism and hopefulness and utter despair within minutes. His health is deteriorating daily and it is very frustrating for him to be unable to do even the most basic things like climbing the stairs to our front door. Due to the fact that his heart valve is leaking the heart failure is worse than ever. Even after spending a week in ICU two weeks ago on a diuretic drip and undergoing dialysis during this time the oedema (water retention) is back with a vengeance.

We have managed to jump through just about all the hoops in order to be considered and hopefully qualify to be placed on the heart transplant list. We have met with the transplant coordinator and transplant team psychologist and spent a encouraging 3 hours with Renier and his wife Lizette on Saturday. Renier received a heart transplant 4 years ago. He has an amazing story which I plan to tell in a separate post. The only thing left to do is the physical tests next week Wednesday (1st of July). This involves an angiogram (heart catheter) and a series of blood tests. The results of these will determine whether K qualifies to go on the transplant list or not.

If anything I am learning to take things day by day, even hour by hour or minute by minute when the going gets tough or I am suddenly overwhelmed by a panic attack.

On our way home after visiting Renier on Saturday we passed a big billboard on which the local churches post inspirational messages. The message was a portion of a bible verse namely Ezekiel 36:26:

“A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

This is the prayer of my heart and something I will hold onto tightly in the days to come. Please join me in praying for a new heart ….