Things have finally settled down enough to allow me to start thinking about and processing all that has happened in the last two years of my life since Kallie fell ill. I have realised that we have been on one hellluva rollercoaster ride since his first heart attack on the 2nd of July 2007. My prime focus during this time was his illness, especially towards the end when the heart transplant was becoming a reality. I became a student of heart disease (and might I say a damn good one at that). I am able to recite the long list of medication he took by heart down to the very last milligram without missing a beat. Yet I have come to realise that I have lost a big part of myself along the way. Ask me about heart surgery, heart transplants and organ donation but don't ask me my favourite colour. I am in the extremely fortunate position that I am able to spend time with and amazing psychologist who is slowly helping me process and come to grips with all that has happened. I am on a journey towards finding "me" again and S is gently illuminating the way....
I celebrated my 42nd birthday on the 22nd of July. Although I was still sick at home with bronchitis it turned out to be a really special day, sad but special. Old friends that I had not heard from in years phoned and sent SMS's. New friends, who I met for the first time when they reached out to me at church the Sunday after Kallie's death, dropped by with flowers and gifts.
My dear friend Sam travelled all the way to Krugersdorp to spoil me with the most gorgeous birthday cake. Before Kallie passed away I always joked that all I wanted for my birthday was a new heart. She made this gorgeous and DELICIOUS heart shaped chocolate cake decorated with a green bow. (Green was Kallie's favourite colour). I am so blessed to have such a thoughtful friend!!
Oh wow, how special is that cake!
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a good birthday :)